There is no correct way to grieve. Like people, there are many ways to grieve. There is, however, a pattern to grief. Elizabeth K Ross was correct, there are stages. You don’t just go through them once, however. You may at one point get to acceptance and several weeks, months years later do it all again because something has triggered a memory. You may stay stuck in anger or denial longer then other people. You may not go through them the way they are laid out either, you may be angry first. You may have delayed the grieving because you had to be strong for someone. The only sure thing is that there are stages that you go through that are common for every one when you lose someone or something dear to you. That’s right, something. If your house burns down, loose a job you liked or anything else that was important to you, not just people. You can grieve the loss of your health, the loss of a limb, when your children leave to be out on their own, what you thought was going to happen when you had grandchildren and then it didn’t. You may have thought you were going to have big family Christmas’ and then they moved away or you have an in-law that does not like you and will not come when the family is together. These are all losses and you will grieve them. There is no norm for grieving, no length of time when it will just go away or stop. The intensity and duration of the sadness will lessen, but it does not go away. No one can tell you you’re not doing it right. Those that do, have no idea what they’re talking about and have probable never truly grieved anything. Don’t listen, do your own thing and get through it by accepting solace where and when it presents itself. There are no accidents, there are lessons to be learned if you are open to them. Don’t close your heart or your ears because of your grief. Feeling it is the only way through it, or anything for that matter. Grieving with people who love you is the best way, if you are alone, do it with a counselor or a grief group, but do it and get through it. These video’s will help you to relax and get rid of og those thing you have no control over. Link to the video’s. Enjoy!
I became a therapist in an attempt to understand my own childhood and what happened there and how it made me who I am, exhibiting the behaviors that were not always positive, very often self-destructive. I used Art Therapy to help me understand things in my past that were stopping me from making better decisions in my present day. I used Behavioral Science to help me understand underlying causal factors, roots to the present day behaviors that I was seeing in myself. Both help me to change those behaviors/thoughts that were causing me to make self-destructive decisions that were causing pain in life. I have been a therapist since 1985 and have an undergraduate degree Art and behavioral science (double major) from the University of Maine. My graduate work was done at Marywood university and I have a degree in Art Therapy. I have certificates in Forensic Interviewing and Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavior therapy. I have 22 out of 30 credits toward a degree in Trauma Therapy from Drexel University. I started out as a Community Support Worker, Program Manager/Clinical Supervisor, Family therapist and Outpatient therapist. View all posts by dtoomey2015