Making judgements

We humans make judgements about things on a daily basis. Sometimes minute by minute.  We wake up and make a judgement about whether or not we feel like wearing the red shirt or the black shirt today.  We make a judgement about whether we agree with what is being broadcast on the news today or whether it is just media hype.  We make a judgement about whether or not we think the President is doing a good job, we might be making that judgement based upon whether we truly feel that way or we are just prejudiced against people of color, and it really wouldn’t matter what he was doing, we still wouldn’t like him.  When we make judgements it tells the person listening more about us and our character then about  the person which we are making the judgement.  Some judgements are necessary for daily life and show personal preferences for certain things.  Others are not necessary and even sometimes cruel.  Judgements are not necessarily good or bad, except when we begin to think ours is better than the other persons.  When we think we are right and the other person is wrong.  Both people can be right, for themselves.  Just because we don’t all think alike does not mean one of us is wrong.  Judgements of this nature are based upon the past and needing to be right.  No one is right all of the time.  Humans make mistakes.  If you are unable to allow a person to disagree with you without  becoming angry because they are doing so, you have the problem.  If you need others to agree with you in order to believe what you believe, then you really don’t believe it.  You should be able to stand on your own in your belief and defend it, without the support of others.  It is hard to do, but, can be done if you truly believe what you are saying.  Taking a look at where the judgement is coming from will do one of two things.  It will reinforce our belief or it will allow us to understand that our belief is based in fear or prejudice.  Those judgements should change and new ones based in understanding should take their place.  Judgements based in fear and prejudice only diminish us, they do nothing to the other person.  They show the people you are speaking with that you are fearful, prejudiced and stuck in anger about something in the past.  Only you can change that, by looking at why you are hanging on to the anger and where it is coming from in the past.  These video’s will help you to relax while you are letting go of those things you need to let go.  Link to the video’s.     Enjoy!

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dtoomey2015

I became a therapist in an attempt to understand my own childhood and what happened there and how it made me who I am, exhibiting the behaviors that were not always positive, very often self-destructive. I used Art Therapy to help me understand things in my past that were stopping me from making better decisions in my present day. I used Behavioral Science to help me understand underlying causal factors, roots to the present day behaviors that I was seeing in myself. Both help me to change those behaviors/thoughts that were causing me to make self-destructive decisions that were causing pain in life. I have been a therapist since 1985 and have an undergraduate degree Art and behavioral science (double major) from the University of Maine. My graduate work was done at Marywood university and I have a degree in Art Therapy. I have certificates in Forensic Interviewing and Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavior therapy. I have 22 out of 30 credits toward a degree in Trauma Therapy from Drexel University. I started out as a Community Support Worker, Program Manager/Clinical Supervisor, Family therapist and Outpatient therapist.

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