Changing behavior

Changing any behavior takes 3 weeks or 21 days of constantly stopping the behavior that you want to change,  and replacing it with another behavior.  It then takes another 3 weeks or 21 days of practicing that behavior to make it a habit.  It requires you not only acknowledging the fact that the behavior you are trying to change is a problem for you but also actively working at changing it, stopping yourself from doing it, being mindful that you are doing it.  Knowing the behavior leading up to it and stopping yourself then before it goes any further.  An example would be when an alcoholic is trying to not drink, they are told to stay away from people, places and things that remind them of the drinking and may lead back to picking up again.  You need to be mindful of those things that may lead you back into the behavior you are trying to change.   You need to replace them as well.  There is no miracle cure for this, no pill to take, just hard work on your part.

Changing any behavior requires your acknowledgement that it is no longer working for you.  Whatever it is that you were doing no longer has the same effect that it used to have and is now getting you into trouble.  It is like a toddler that throws a temper tantrum, at the age of one and a half to two years old it may be cute, and I say maybe.  When the child is five or seven it is no longer cute.  When the child is twenty-seven and still doing it, it really is not cute.  It has probable gotten them into trouble in their lives and they have no idea why it is no longer working for them and have no idea how to change it but are miserable because of it.  These video’s can help you to relax and give away what is no longer working for you, while you’re replacing the behavior.  Link to the video’s   Enjoy!


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I became a therapist in an attempt to understand my own childhood and what happened there and how it made me who I am, exhibiting the behaviors that were not always positive, very often self-destructive. I used Art Therapy to help me understand things in my past that were stopping me from making better decisions in my present day. I used Behavioral Science to help me understand underlying causal factors, roots to the present day behaviors that I was seeing in myself. Both help me to change those behaviors/thoughts that were causing me to make self-destructive decisions that were causing pain in life. I have been a therapist since 1985 and have an undergraduate degree Art and behavioral science (double major) from the University of Maine. My graduate work was done at Marywood university and I have a degree in Art Therapy. I have certificates in Forensic Interviewing and Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavior therapy. I have 22 out of 30 credits toward a degree in Trauma Therapy from Drexel University. I started out as a Community Support Worker, Program Manager/Clinical Supervisor, Family therapist and Outpatient therapist.

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