Reasons for having children

I have heard a lot of reasons for having children over the years.  Some of them are really positive reasons and some of them have been really selfish.  The only legitimate reason for having a child is because you really want one.  Because you are ready to take care of one and because you realize that they will be a lot of work for the rest of your life.  Being a parent does not stop when the child is 18 years old or when it gets too hard.  Being a parent is a full-time job all by itself.  It is not easy and it has nothing to do with being selfish.  If you are selfish, you should not have a child.  They need to come first, not you.  The decision to have a child is a serious one and should not be made lightly.  You should not be making the decision until you can afford to have a child and are mature enough to take care of one.  The decision to have a child should not be a decision that is made at the last-minute or a mistake.  Children should not be considered a mistake.  It should be thought about and planned, not something that you feel you can get out of if you choose to do so.  The choice should be made before you have sex mid-cycle, not after your pregnant.  It’s too late than, you’ve already made the choice to have sex mid-cycle knowing that the potential to get pregnant was there.  The choice now is to accept the consequence for the choice you already made.  You should then give the child to someone who can take care of it and has more self-control then to have sex knowing you’re going to get pregnant but are not willing to take care of the results of that act.  Selfish people should not have children.  Adoption is a good way to take care of that problem.  There are a lot of people who would take of the child and are not selfish enough to not take responsibility for their actions.  A lot of unselfish people who have tried to have a child and could not get pregnant.  Raising children is not easy and requires a mature person to do so.  It is not for the faint of heart.  It is hard work most of the time with a lot of moments that make you very happy.  The child is not going to give you anything for a long while.  You are going to be giving to them for a long time before they even know what giving to you might look like, and that will come from how well you have taught them what that might look like.  If you are selfish, they will learn that and treat you accordingly.  Think long and hard before you choose to bring a life into the world.  Make sure you are truly ready.  This will help you relax and give away anything that you might need to give away before you create a child.   Link to the relaxation and guided imagery video’s.     Enjoy!

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dtoomey2015

I became a therapist in an attempt to understand my own childhood and what happened there and how it made me who I am, exhibiting the behaviors that were not always positive, very often self-destructive. I used Art Therapy to help me understand things in my past that were stopping me from making better decisions in my present day. I used Behavioral Science to help me understand underlying causal factors, roots to the present day behaviors that I was seeing in myself. Both help me to change those behaviors/thoughts that were causing me to make self-destructive decisions that were causing pain in life. I have been a therapist since 1985 and have an undergraduate degree Art and behavioral science (double major) from the University of Maine. My graduate work was done at Marywood university and I have a degree in Art Therapy. I have certificates in Forensic Interviewing and Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavior therapy. I have 22 out of 30 credits toward a degree in Trauma Therapy from Drexel University. I started out as a Community Support Worker, Program Manager/Clinical Supervisor, Family therapist and Outpatient therapist.

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