Often times we will say yes to something that we really do not want to do or really do not have the time to do. We say yes instead of no for a variety of reasons, mostly because we want to please the other person or don’t want to appear uncooperative. This usually causes stress for the person who has said yes instead of no and also sets up a dynamic of now having to finish something you do not have time to do. The other person will usually notice that it is not getting done in a timely manner and becomes irritated with you and calls you on it. You are then stuck with having to explain why it is not done yet. It would have been easier if you had just said “No, I’m sorry I do not have the time”. Or ” I’m swamped right now, I’m sorry I can’t help you”. The other person will usually understand even though they may continue to try to convince you to do it. Once they understand your no means no, they will stop. If they think you can be convinced to do it anyway, because you’ve done so in the past, they’ll stop bugging you when they realize you’ve changed and your no now means no.
Change again takes 3 weeks of constantly saying no to things you either cannot or do not want to do. It takes another 3 weeks to make that behavior a habit. Here is y relaxation video while you are working on changing this behavior.