Scapegoats

In all dysfunctional systems, there is a scapegoat.  A scapegoat is someone you blame when everything goes wrong.  It doesn’t have to be that persons fault, and often times is not, but they will get blamed for whatever it is that has happened to cause the system harm or trouble.  If it is within the family system it is usually the second born.  They will eventually resent being blamed for everything and rebel against it.  They are the children that get into trouble with the legal system, have unplanned pregnancies, experiment with drugs and alcohol and defy authority in general.  They do not do well in school, not because they can’t but because they have checked out of society.  They are not necessarily sociopathic.  They usually care, they just won’t show you they do because you have the potential to hurt them.  They do not trust you enough to let you in, you have to earn that.  These people know where all of the skeletons are hidden, where all the bodies are buried because they were blamed for it and they know who actually did it.

Help for  scapegoats comes when they get away from their system, the unit that is blaming them for everything.  They have to be willing to put down the drugs and alcohol, stop the criminal behavior and get a life for themselves.  They will not be able to do that within the system because the system needs them to take the blame in order to survive.  When they leave, however, the system will elect another scapegoat to take the blame. Going to ACOA (Adult Children of Alcoholic) meetings is a good start.  Getting Trauma therapy is another.  Often times these people suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder because of what has gone on in their lives.  Their criminal activity is usually related to the drugs and alcohol and will have to resolve those things.  They make great Drug and Alcohol Counselors because they know all of the tricks, they make great therapist because of the same thing.  Here is my relaxation video while you are getting back to yourself.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxfXvKoRJ53hEQ8p1TTmAaw

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dtoomey2015

I became a therapist in an attempt to understand my own childhood and what happened there and how it made me who I am, exhibiting the behaviors that were not always positive, very often self-destructive. I used Art Therapy to help me understand things in my past that were stopping me from making better decisions in my present day. I used Behavioral Science to help me understand underlying causal factors, roots to the present day behaviors that I was seeing in myself. Both help me to change those behaviors/thoughts that were causing me to make self-destructive decisions that were causing pain in life. I have been a therapist since 1985 and have an undergraduate degree Art and behavioral science (double major) from the University of Maine. My graduate work was done at Marywood university and I have a degree in Art Therapy. I have certificates in Forensic Interviewing and Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavior therapy. I have 22 out of 30 credits toward a degree in Trauma Therapy from Drexel University. I started out as a Community Support Worker, Program Manager/Clinical Supervisor, Family therapist and Outpatient therapist.

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