Violence and desensitization

Systematic desensitization works in reverse as well as to help us get rid of phobias and fears.  We can desensitize ourselves to things we see and do every day.  They become the normal when they weren’t before.  Violence is no different.  Violence becomes normalized.  It is the way trauma therapy works, it is the way systematic desensitization works.  We desensitize ourselves to what we would not, could not tolerate before we became used to seeing violence and hearing violence on a regular basis.  Violence then becomes the norm, we have changed our habit from non-acceptance to acceptance.  It is like someone who watches horror movies.  When you begin to watch them they scare you and often times you have to look away from the screen.  The more you watch them, the less looking away happens and the more you are now laughing at them and you need something more  horrifying the make you afraid enough to look away from the screen. That happens with everything.  We as a people have to become more aware of what we are accepting as tolerable and acceptable, not everything that we are being told is “in” and we should be doing, actually is good for us.  In my experience, following the crowd is not always good for us.  It usually leads to trouble and doing things that you will later regret.  Violence is not the answer to anything.  Violence leads to more violence.  Revenge is not yours, there are systems in place to take care of whatever has happened.  They work slowly and granted sometimes they do not work at all for the good, accusing the wrong person due to their own prejudice.  But for the most part they work and in the end it will work out for the best.  If you listen to that voice inside, it will not be telling you to be violent.  You have to be still enough and calm enough to hear it though.  Here is my relaxation video to help you do that.


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I became a therapist in an attempt to understand my own childhood and what happened there and how it made me who I am, exhibiting the behaviors that were not always positive, very often self-destructive. I used Art Therapy to help me understand things in my past that were stopping me from making better decisions in my present day. I used Behavioral Science to help me understand underlying causal factors, roots to the present day behaviors that I was seeing in myself. Both help me to change those behaviors/thoughts that were causing me to make self-destructive decisions that were causing pain in life. I have been a therapist since 1985 and have an undergraduate degree Art and behavioral science (double major) from the University of Maine. My graduate work was done at Marywood university and I have a degree in Art Therapy. I have certificates in Forensic Interviewing and Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavior therapy. I have 22 out of 30 credits toward a degree in Trauma Therapy from Drexel University. I started out as a Community Support Worker, Program Manager/Clinical Supervisor, Family therapist and Outpatient therapist.

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