For those of us who were born into dysfunction, there can be triggers that send us back into a place in the past. We are around those people who would rather have us be the person they once knew, then appreciate the person we have worked so hard to become. That doesn’t have to mean we have to go there with them. Triggers do not have to be a bad thing. They can be a warning that something is about to happen and we need to be mindful not to fall into the same routine. We can use them as a warning, not as a means to make us fall into the role our dysfunctional family prefers us to be. You can back away mentally or physically if you have to and not engage n the behavior. If you find yourself instantly angry, in tears or frustrated by what is going on in the present, I will tell you that any instant emotion has nothing to do with what just happened and everything to do with what just got triggered from your past. Look at it and then change it. Make these situations, opportunities for growth instead of situations you would rather avoid. Take a deep breath, step back emotionally from the situation and relax. Look at what this situation is teaching you. Place it in the box and give it away, it is no longer you, do not pick it up. In some situations it was never you, it was just your families perception of you. Here are the relaxation videos to help you relax and the guided imagery to help you give it away. Enjoy your Holiday and your family. Appreciate them for who and what they are, they may begin to do the same to you as well.
I became a therapist in an attempt to understand my own childhood and what happened there and how it made me who I am, exhibiting the behaviors that were not always positive, very often self-destructive. I used Art Therapy to help me understand things in my past that were stopping me from making better decisions in my present day. I used Behavioral Science to help me understand underlying causal factors, roots to the present day behaviors that I was seeing in myself. Both help me to change those behaviors/thoughts that were causing me to make self-destructive decisions that were causing pain in life. I have been a therapist since 1985 and have an undergraduate degree Art and behavioral science (double major) from the University of Maine. My graduate work was done at Marywood university and I have a degree in Art Therapy. I have certificates in Forensic Interviewing and Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavior therapy. I have 22 out of 30 credits toward a degree in Trauma Therapy from Drexel University. I started out as a Community Support Worker, Program Manager/Clinical Supervisor, Family therapist and Outpatient therapist. View all posts by dtoomey2015