When I work with people who are trying to accept the situation that they find themselves in at the time,  they seem to think that acceptance means they have to accept the situation and can do nothing to change it.  Acceptance does not mean you have to like what has happened, nor does it mean you can do nothing about it.  Most times you will not like what has happened in these situations, or you wouldn’t be struggling with accepting it.  Acceptance means that you see the situation as it is, for what it is and make a decisions about what you’re going to do about it.  That has nothing to do with liking it, swallowing it whole and choking on it or allowing an unacceptable situation to continue.  It is seeing the situation for what it is and doing something to make it acceptable for you or sometimes you and your family.  It does not mean allowing unacceptable things into your life.  It may mean not allowing that thing or person into your life again until they can stop doing whatever it is that you find unacceptable.  It may just mean not allowing that situation to happen again.  That will be your decision.  Accepting something or someone that is unacceptable to you does not ever need to be a choice. Allowing less then what you can be in your life hurts you and the person who is trying to make you do it.  It diminishes both of you. Setting limits for your life is always a good thing and will remain a good guideline to set for yourself.  Setting limits takes courage and self determination to be the best person you can be. If that limit entails not having someone in our life right now,  it does not have to be permanent.  Eventually people come back into your life and you can make another choice, set another limit depending upon the situation at that moment.  Relax and enjoy your new self determination to be the best you, you can be!  Don’t ever accept anything or anyone who makes you less then you are or can be.

Relax and enjoy!


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I became a therapist in an attempt to understand my own childhood and what happened there and how it made me who I am, exhibiting the behaviors that were not always positive, very often self-destructive. I used Art Therapy to help me understand things in my past that were stopping me from making better decisions in my present day. I used Behavioral Science to help me understand underlying causal factors, roots to the present day behaviors that I was seeing in myself. Both help me to change those behaviors/thoughts that were causing me to make self-destructive decisions that were causing pain in life. I have been a therapist since 1985 and have an undergraduate degree Art and behavioral science (double major) from the University of Maine. My graduate work was done at Marywood university and I have a degree in Art Therapy. I have certificates in Forensic Interviewing and Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavior therapy. I have 22 out of 30 credits toward a degree in Trauma Therapy from Drexel University. I started out as a Community Support Worker, Program Manager/Clinical Supervisor, Family therapist and Outpatient therapist.

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