If you are in relationship with someone who is autistic and will not admit it, talking about it in a non threatening manner can help. Remember though that no matter how non-threatening at first you intended to sound, the autistic person is only dealing with how whatever you’re saying is making them feel, they could care less about how you are feeling, no empathy, remember. They also will need to feel in control of everything. Change of any kind is never a good thing, unless they are controlling it. If the person likes you, the conversation will go better. If they have made up their minds that they do not like you then it will be much harder to talk about anything with them. People with autism can and often do make up their minds they do not like you because of how you look, what color you’re wearing, what perfume you are wearing, what food you like to eat, the tone of your voice or of what material your clothes are made. They have sensitivities with any or all of their senses.
Using stories to talk about whatever problems there might be, will help make the issues at hand be more objective because you are talking about a character in a story, not them. You can draw about it as well if they are artistically inclined. A story about whatever problem there might be at that time. The story will have to be similar to the problem because you will then want to talk about how that story relates to the problem you’re having now. Using a comic strip line of writing or drawing, where you do one block and they do the next, will help them see what comes next. Autistic people struggle with what comes next because they are self-focused. Doing the comic strip style will help you discuss each block as you go so you can nip whatever miss perceptions they are having as you go. Talking about how the story you just created relates to the problem at hand can be tricky because of their self-focus and lack of empathy. If you have been correcting any miss perceptions as you go then it will be easier because what comes next will have worked out in the story and how the other person is feeling is already apparent. Saying then, that is how you are feeling or how the other person is feeling is only another block in the story. Using this method will eventually allow the person with autism to see outside themselves and be aware that other people have feelings too.
Try to keep in mind the fact that they are not doing this on purpose. They have been born without a fully functioning frontal lobe. They can and are quite capable of learning a different way to be without dividing families. You will need patience and help relaxing. This can and often is anxiety provoking. This can help you relax before your encounter. Link to the guided imagery and relaxation video’s Enjoy!