Grief and healing

Grief and healing from that grief is not just for those who are missing someone who has moved on from this physical realm.  It is also for those who have been taken due to mental health issues, disruptions in the family or anything else that breaks relationships. Unresolved family issues can lead to tensions that will not be overcome and will split a family apart.  Talking about whatever the issues are will resolve them.  Not talking about them will lead to misinformation and hurt feelings.  If years are allowed to pass without talking then the hurt becomes bigger then the original issues themselves.  If one of the parties have tried to talk about the problem and the other is either denying there is a problem or unwilling to talk, their is no resolution taking place between you.  You can still resolve your feelings.  Writing about it or using art therapy  will get you through the original issue as well as the grief of the lost relationship.  Grieving is a life long process that never goes away.  You do learn to live without that person and move on without them in your life.  It is not easy.  Grieving is never easy.  It is painful.  Heart wrenching.  Do not let it make you bitter.  Bitterness comes when you do not deal with the unresolved feelings of hurt.  Bitterness only hurts you more.  It does nothing to the person that hurt you originally.  Releasing all of those emotions that are weighing you down will free you from the hurt and pain.

Write down everything you would like to say to the person that hurt you or broke relationship with you.  Draw out those feelings, even if it is a scribble on a paper.  Do this as often as it takes to get rid of the hurt and pain of that lost relationship.  When you are done, relax, take some deep breaths and listen to this relaxation exercise.   link to the relaxation and guided imagery video’s     Enjoy!

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dtoomey2015

I became a therapist in an attempt to understand my own childhood and what happened there and how it made me who I am, exhibiting the behaviors that were not always positive, very often self-destructive. I used Art Therapy to help me understand things in my past that were stopping me from making better decisions in my present day. I used Behavioral Science to help me understand underlying causal factors, roots to the present day behaviors that I was seeing in myself. Both help me to change those behaviors/thoughts that were causing me to make self-destructive decisions that were causing pain in life. I have been a therapist since 1985 and have an undergraduate degree Art and behavioral science (double major) from the University of Maine. My graduate work was done at Marywood university and I have a degree in Art Therapy. I have certificates in Forensic Interviewing and Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavior therapy. I have 22 out of 30 credits toward a degree in Trauma Therapy from Drexel University. I started out as a Community Support Worker, Program Manager/Clinical Supervisor, Family therapist and Outpatient therapist.

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