Repressed anger

Anger is never repressed.  It is not spoken, but never repressed.  Anger will express itself in many ways.  It will come out in ways that we cannot control unless we choose to control it and express it in a conscious manner.  Anger will express itself by becoming frustrated at small things, being angry at your boss and coming home and taking it out on your family or the dog.  You will get ulcers or other stomach or intestinal problems, grind your teeth, clench you fists when there is no apparent reason.  The Chakra religions believe that kidney stones are little balls of unexpressed anger.

This does not mean we have to engage in an argument with those people who have provoked the anger if it is not safe or appropriate to do so.  It means we can express the anger in a safe, controlled manner like going for a run or walk, punching a punching bag or lifting weights.  If you are less physical then listening to calming music, guided imagery or several deep breaths will help.  These things will help to get rid of the initial angry feelings and allow your mind and emotions to calm and think about what we should be doing about what angered us and why.  Finding out the why can be more important then what to do about it.  If the why is not looked at, it will keep repeating itself in our lives.  We will keep finding the same relationships, the same boss, the same friends that will ultimately anger us in the same manner.  Anger usually comes because someone has hurt us.  Often it is the same kind of situation that has hurt us, just different people this time.  It is also something that has repeated in our lives from childhood.  Because of this, you may not be able to resolve it with the initial person that hurt you in this manner.  There are still ways to deal with the repeated pattern.

So, you have gotten rid of the initial feelings of anger in a controlled manner, but still have the problem facing you.  If you can talk to the person involved about what tripped your anger without becoming angry all over again, that is excellent.  If you cannot either because they have died or because talking would not work due to drug or alcohol addiction, autism or other mental health disorders then you can write down what you need to say to them, draw it out if you are so inclined, work it out in the gym, or during many runs or walks or talk it out with a trusted friend or therapist but get it out so you can see it.  Keeping it inside your head and heart only allows it to take on a life of its own and will destroy you and your health.  Once you can see it objectively you will be able to come up with a solution that will stop the anger outbursts. It will also stop those people in your life that continue to push that particular button in you from being able to push it because you will have disconnected it.  That particular button will no longer matter and even though you will recognize that an attempt has been made to push it, you no longer care.

This site will help you relax and uses guided imagery to calm the emotions so you can think clearly.  Link to the video’s   Enjoy!


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I became a therapist in an attempt to understand my own childhood and what happened there and how it made me who I am, exhibiting the behaviors that were not always positive, very often self-destructive. I used Art Therapy to help me understand things in my past that were stopping me from making better decisions in my present day. I used Behavioral Science to help me understand underlying causal factors, roots to the present day behaviors that I was seeing in myself. Both help me to change those behaviors/thoughts that were causing me to make self-destructive decisions that were causing pain in life. I have been a therapist since 1985 and have an undergraduate degree Art and behavioral science (double major) from the University of Maine. My graduate work was done at Marywood university and I have a degree in Art Therapy. I have certificates in Forensic Interviewing and Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavior therapy. I have 22 out of 30 credits toward a degree in Trauma Therapy from Drexel University. I started out as a Community Support Worker, Program Manager/Clinical Supervisor, Family therapist and Outpatient therapist.

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