Fear and anxiety

In a recent blog I spoke about a young man who disowned his mother because he was feeling stuck in the middle between his mother and his wife every time his wife would find fault with something some one in his family of origin did.  His mother was recently contacted by his wife.  They had recently had another child and his mother had not seen the child, his wife invited her to meet the new addition.  The mother immediately had fear and anxiety again.  Her fear came from being misinterpreted by this young woman again and anxiety because the same thing would happen.  Her first instinct was to run away and never experience that pain again.  Loosing a child is never easy no matter how old, loosing them twice for the same reason is insane.  Why walk into that same situation again if you know the outcome.  The wife will never own the fact that she is autistic and misinterprets situations, gestures, facial expressions or anything else related to his mother because she does not like his mother. She will never understand that her thought are opinions and not facts.   This mother has grieved the loss of her son and grandchildren.  She was accepting the situation the way it was.  Had felt relief that she did not have to feel the fear and anxiety every time she saw her child and grandchildren.  She no longer looked for her family to get together during the holiday’s or other times.  She accepted the fact that his wife’s family did that and she would never be able to do so.  She would never see all of her children in the same room at the same time.   There was a sense of relief about that as well.  No tension, no fear, no anxiety provoking situations to deal with at her age.  She was good without them.  Why walk back into that situation and create all of that anxiety for yourself.  Because he is her baby and a mother will do anything for her baby, including walking back into what feels like hell.  She will arm herself this time and will speak her truth.  Whenever she is insulted she will say so, whenever she catches a misinterpretation she will say so, whenever a boundary is crossed she will bring it out in the open.  Whenever there is time for his wife’s family and not her’s she will bring it to the light.   She will take deep breaths and place all of those things she has no control over in a box for God to deal. She will accept this olive branch and pray to God that He will cure her anxiety and fear.  This will help to place all of those things you cannot control into a box to give to God or anyone else you choose.   Click here for the link to the video’s   Enjoy!

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dtoomey2015

I became a therapist in an attempt to understand my own childhood and what happened there and how it made me who I am, exhibiting the behaviors that were not always positive, very often self-destructive. I used Art Therapy to help me understand things in my past that were stopping me from making better decisions in my present day. I used Behavioral Science to help me understand underlying causal factors, roots to the present day behaviors that I was seeing in myself. Both help me to change those behaviors/thoughts that were causing me to make self-destructive decisions that were causing pain in life. I have been a therapist since 1985 and have an undergraduate degree Art and behavioral science (double major) from the University of Maine. My graduate work was done at Marywood university and I have a degree in Art Therapy. I have certificates in Forensic Interviewing and Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavior therapy. I have 22 out of 30 credits toward a degree in Trauma Therapy from Drexel University. I started out as a Community Support Worker, Program Manager/Clinical Supervisor, Family therapist and Outpatient therapist.

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