Loving yourself is not as easy as it might seem. If you come from a dysfunctional family, like most of us do, it is not easily done. The things you were told as a child will continue to come up if you don’t face them, and as we all know, facing them is hard. Facing them you must do, however, if you want to move forward in your life without repeating the patterns from your past. Doing the work is not easy, it can be intense and emotional which is why people just want to forget it. You may repress the memory(s) but it will crop up when you least expect it and again you will be wondering “where the heck did that come from?”. It is because it was traumatizing for you to experience it the first time. There are emotions there that need to be dealt with in a mature manner and loved away because it wasn’t done when you were little. You can do it for yourself. Talk to that little kid that is still hurting. Write or draw what that child is feeling. If you are writing write to the child, do it with your dominant hand and give them permission to tell you what they are feeling. Then switch to your non-dominant hand and write whatever comes. Whatever comes is what the core issue is and you can then switch to your dominant hand and comfort that child by writing what it needs to hear in order to heal. Tell them it is okay to let go and you will protect them now. Do this until it is healed and stops coming up. The reason you use your non-dominant hand is because that is your emotional brain and that is where traumatized memories live. Your little kid is holding on to them and controlling them for you until you deal with them. If you are like most of us there will be more then one thing that continues to come up from your past. If you are drawing you can do the same thing. There is also something called Tapping that is effective for changing patterns in your brain and healing trauma. The first thing in trauma therapy is to relax enough to be able to look at those things that are patterns in your life. This will help you do that. Click here for the link to the video. Enjoy!
I became a therapist in an attempt to understand my own childhood and what happened there and how it made me who I am, exhibiting the behaviors that were not always positive, very often self-destructive. I used Art Therapy to help me understand things in my past that were stopping me from making better decisions in my present day. I used Behavioral Science to help me understand underlying causal factors, roots to the present day behaviors that I was seeing in myself. Both help me to change those behaviors/thoughts that were causing me to make self-destructive decisions that were causing pain in life. I have been a therapist since 1985 and have an undergraduate degree Art and behavioral science (double major) from the University of Maine. My graduate work was done at Marywood university and I have a degree in Art Therapy. I have certificates in Forensic Interviewing and Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavior therapy. I have 22 out of 30 credits toward a degree in Trauma Therapy from Drexel University. I started out as a Community Support Worker, Program Manager/Clinical Supervisor, Family therapist and Outpatient therapist. View all posts by dtoomey2015