Drinking, drugging and underlying causal factors.

Most of us go through a phase in our lives where we live recklessly, like we will live forever with not a care in the world.  That usually happens in our teens and early twenties.  After that we will settle down to earning a living and the business of life.  If we have been abuse that does not always happen.  Especially if we have been molested as a child.  There are specific symptoms that come with being molested and it does not matter whether you are a male or female.  It is however, still harder for a male to talk about being molested in our society then it is for a female.  Both will not be able to hold a job, are promiscuous and if you are female you can make yourself so unattractive that no one will ever want to touch you again.  Both have rage that will come out unexpectedly and get them into trouble.  They will often times be arrested for assaults, will be using drugs and or alcohol to medicate the feelings of helplessness, worthlessness and the memories that they hold of the abuse.  They are angry that they could not stop it, that their parents did not save them, that no one saw their pain and did anything about it.  They are angry at the person or people that did this to them while they were too young to defend themselves. They are angry at God for not saving them. They become manipulative, lie, steal, carry drama wherever they go, love you one minute and hate you the next and will most certainly develop borderline personality symptoms that will send you on a roller coaster ride of emotions.  They are not easy to live with and will most likely not be able to hold on to a steady relationship any more then they do hold on to a job.  Their rage and quick temper over seemingly nothing will push people away.  They trust no one because people have taken advantage of them in the worst way possible at an early age.  They will be getting in trouble at school, at work, at home and will often times drop out of life and hang out on the streets.  They will have to hit bottom several times, very hard before they learn that dealing with the pain once and for all is better then trying to squash it with drink and drugs.  If you are a male that may never happen because it is not always safe in our society to talk about being molested.  You may be looked upon as less then a man if you do.  That is getting less prevalent then it used to be, thank God!

Healing from this takes time, like anything else worth while.  It will be an investment in yourself that will pay great benefits.  You will need to find a trauma therapist and learn to relax enough to trust.  You will have to learn that trusting some people is alright and that forgiveness begins with yourself.  You will learn that relaxing enough to trust will lead to conversations that will lead to healing.  You will be able to detach the emotions from the memory event(s).  It all begins with being able to relax enough with the therapist or anyone and trust them.  This will help.   Click here for the videos   Enjoy!

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dtoomey2015

I became a therapist in an attempt to understand my own childhood and what happened there and how it made me who I am, exhibiting the behaviors that were not always positive, very often self-destructive. I used Art Therapy to help me understand things in my past that were stopping me from making better decisions in my present day. I used Behavioral Science to help me understand underlying causal factors, roots to the present day behaviors that I was seeing in myself. Both help me to change those behaviors/thoughts that were causing me to make self-destructive decisions that were causing pain in life. I have been a therapist since 1985 and have an undergraduate degree Art and behavioral science (double major) from the University of Maine. My graduate work was done at Marywood university and I have a degree in Art Therapy. I have certificates in Forensic Interviewing and Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavior therapy. I have 22 out of 30 credits toward a degree in Trauma Therapy from Drexel University. I started out as a Community Support Worker, Program Manager/Clinical Supervisor, Family therapist and Outpatient therapist.

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