Molestation and males

I have often said that males who have been molested are less likely to talk about it because this society does not think that males should even be in that position.  Our society as a whole thinks that men, whether boys or grown, should be able to defend themselves against any attack and worse, that they probable enjoyed it anyway, because we all know men are always looking for sex.  It is true that men are built differently,  physically, emotionally and mentally.  No one, no matter how you are built, likes to be forced to do anything.  It does not matter whether it is to take the garbage out or to have sex with someone you don’t want.  We are also talking about the fact that this happens to little boys, not full grown men, most of the time.  They are threatened, over powered, drugged given alcohol to lower their inhibitions and otherwise made to do things against their will.  This is not something that they want to do whether they are sexually active yet or not.

If your child was doing well in school, whether they had a learning disability or not, and all of a sudden you are getting phone calls from the school about behavior problems.  You should be looking into who they were hanging out with, not just the children they hang out with, but the adults too.  Someone is giving your child drugs and/or alcohol and they are probable being molested.  The earlier you catch this the better.  Some of the symptoms are bed wetting, creating emotional drama, secrecy, sneaking out of the house, hanging out with older men”father figures”, suddenly  having behavior problems at school and grades dropping, getting into trouble with the police, being defiant even when they are not adolescent yet.

The journey to repairing this is not easy.  Getting a good trauma therapist is key.  Someone you and your child can trust.   You will again have to relax enough to trust or even to get started on the road to recovery.  This will help.  Click here for the video     Enjoy!

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dtoomey2015

I became a therapist in an attempt to understand my own childhood and what happened there and how it made me who I am, exhibiting the behaviors that were not always positive, very often self-destructive. I used Art Therapy to help me understand things in my past that were stopping me from making better decisions in my present day. I used Behavioral Science to help me understand underlying causal factors, roots to the present day behaviors that I was seeing in myself. Both help me to change those behaviors/thoughts that were causing me to make self-destructive decisions that were causing pain in life. I have been a therapist since 1985 and have an undergraduate degree Art and behavioral science (double major) from the University of Maine. My graduate work was done at Marywood university and I have a degree in Art Therapy. I have certificates in Forensic Interviewing and Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavior therapy. I have 22 out of 30 credits toward a degree in Trauma Therapy from Drexel University. I started out as a Community Support Worker, Program Manager/Clinical Supervisor, Family therapist and Outpatient therapist.

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