Blaming God is a typical reaction for people who have been abuse. They have often times been firm believers in God. They feel that God has let them down, did not protect them, did not save them from the people that did this to them. Challenging that initially, is not a good idea, it will only send them into a deeper denial of the truth of what happened to them. It is always easier to blame someone who you cannot see with your eyes and will love you no matter what, then it is to accept the fact that someone you love, trusted, was suppose to protect you, be there for you, failed miserable. Or, worse yet, did not care enough to do so. Either one of those options are not favorable, so God becomes our target to blame. The blame game is never a good idea, but we do it, for another blog. We also seem to stop praying at those times, stop the communication with God. He does not go where He is not asked. The reality will finally hit us and we will realize that the people that we love, trusted, relied upon, failed us. The same people who were suppose to support and protect us, did not. That it was their choices that failed us, not God. God was not in it because God was not asked to be in it. Even if we were abuse by someone outside the family, they are an adult, someone in authority, someone we know usually, failed us. It is them, not God who made that choice. Your trust was betrayed by a human, not God. The reality of this will come at a time in our lives when we are ready to accept the consequences of that reality. The fact that the people closest to us cannot be trusted. Do not have our backs, will not protect us and we are on our own. It is usually then that we allow God back in and begin to ask for the help to make us whole again. This process, like all others, happens with time and cannot be pushed. Bad thing happen to praying people because there are other people out there making choices without God in their lives. If no one is watching, we can get away with a lot of things, without consequences. It will not matter because there will never be an accounting of what we have done. With that belief comes a lot of evil. God will not interfere with our choices, He has given us free will. He will allow people to make bad choices that will effect us badly. If we are praying, He will give us the strength to endure all things that come our way. If we are in communication with Him, He will even warn us if we are listening. Giving all of your cares to a loving God is not easy, especially if it was a male figure who betrayed our trust, since most of us picture a bearded man when we think of God. If we are praying He will give us the strength to trust Him again and be in communication with Him. Anxiety, fear and judgement are not from God. They keep us away from God and occupy us with those emotions instead of the peace that will only come from Him. Focusing on blaming someone, revenge, judging takes us away from our own healing and makes us focus on those that harmed us. Give that to God, it is His job to judge and take an accounting of those people who hurt us. Give it to Him. If you believe in Him, then you belie that he will take care of those that have harmed us. This will help you to give it away to God. Clickhere for the video Enjoy!
I became a therapist in an attempt to understand my own childhood and what happened there and how it made me who I am, exhibiting the behaviors that were not always positive, very often self-destructive. I used Art Therapy to help me understand things in my past that were stopping me from making better decisions in my present day. I used Behavioral Science to help me understand underlying causal factors, roots to the present day behaviors that I was seeing in myself. Both help me to change those behaviors/thoughts that were causing me to make self-destructive decisions that were causing pain in life. I have been a therapist since 1985 and have an undergraduate degree Art and behavioral science (double major) from the University of Maine. My graduate work was done at Marywood university and I have a degree in Art Therapy. I have certificates in Forensic Interviewing and Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavior therapy. I have 22 out of 30 credits toward a degree in Trauma Therapy from Drexel University. I started out as a Community Support Worker, Program Manager/Clinical Supervisor, Family therapist and Outpatient therapist. View all posts by dtoomey2015