Getting back to God

Sometimes when we come from dysfunction and abuse happens to us or someone we love, we blame God.  It does not matter very much if that abuse is verbal, emotional, mental, physical or sexual, we blame God.  We turn away from God blaming Him because He did nothing to stop the abuse.  We blame the person that actually did the abuse to us, but we also blame God for not stopping them, for allowing it to happen.  I have heard in my practice and in my personal life “Where is God in this, why didn’t He stop it?”.  “If there is a God, why did He let this happen to me?”.  “I am a praying person and this still happened, why didn’t God answer my prayers?”.  The answer that I have come up with is that God gave us free will. He does not go where He is not invited .  I may be a praying person, but if the other person is not and is making decisions to hurt me or someone I love, they will hurt me/ them no matter how much I pray because it is their choice to do so.  My prayers will  lessen the potential outcome, He will bring someone or something into the situation to help or to lessen it, because I prayed .  He will not take the freedom to choose doing wrong away from anyone.  He wants us to choose Him freely, unconditionally.  He will not force us, even though He could if He wanted. If you look at God as someone who will usurp someones free will and do a magic trick to stop wrong doing before it happens, your expectations exceed what God is willing to do.

When you come from dysfunction, you have to heal yourself before you can get back to God.  Healing yourself requires a lot of looking inside for answers and that requires a relationship with God.  It requires believing in something outside yourself and a knowing that God was there the entire time, which is why you survived.  The trip back to God is a long and sometimes difficult journey.  It cannot be forced or made to happen.  You can set an example with your life for those who are paying attention to how you live your life.  You cannot wave a bible at someone and then try to force them back to God.  They will run in the opposite direction.  How you live your life will impress them more.  They are paying attention because they are seeking answers for themselves.  Forcing someone who has been abused, makes you just like the person who abused them.  They will get there in their own time and choose God freely.  They have to get rid of a lot of “junk” first.  That always takes time.  God is patient and He will wait for us.  He knows our hearts and our understanding. Accepting ourselves and our limitations is a positive step in the right direction.  We have to be patient with ourselves.  Relax and get rid of those things that are standing in the way of have a relationship with a God who has loved us through all of it and is waiting for us to get back to Him.  This video will help you get rid of those things standing in the way.


Click here to find the relaxation and guided imagery video.


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I became a therapist in an attempt to understand my own childhood and what happened there and how it made me who I am, exhibiting the behaviors that were not always positive, very often self-destructive. I used Art Therapy to help me understand things in my past that were stopping me from making better decisions in my present day. I used Behavioral Science to help me understand underlying causal factors, roots to the present day behaviors that I was seeing in myself. Both help me to change those behaviors/thoughts that were causing me to make self-destructive decisions that were causing pain in life. I have been a therapist since 1985 and have an undergraduate degree Art and behavioral science (double major) from the University of Maine. My graduate work was done at Marywood university and I have a degree in Art Therapy. I have certificates in Forensic Interviewing and Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavior therapy. I have 22 out of 30 credits toward a degree in Trauma Therapy from Drexel University. I started out as a Community Support Worker, Program Manager/Clinical Supervisor, Family therapist and Outpatient therapist.

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