Finding gratitude for anything when you have come from dysfunction is difficult.  In the beginning of treatment I ask people what is going good for them.  They cannot tell me, they struggle with finding anything positive about themselves or their world.  Even if I suggest something that I have observed, they will qualify it with, what I call a “yeah buts”.   “Yeah buts” are excuses for why something is not what it is.  An example would be if I said “You have nice hair” as an offering for something positive.  The yeah but would be “Yeah but it always takes me a long time to do because it is too curly.”  Having nice curly hair is something a lot of people pay a lot of money for, it is something for which to be grateful.  When you are in the middle of the pain from dysfunction, you cannot always see the positive in your life.  You need someone to help you find it.  That is an arduous task at times.  Getting rid of the things that are standing in the way, seeing all of the things that we have that are positive, only comes when more of the negative is removed.  Talking  about the negative, writing about the negative, drawing about the negative will get it out of your head and to a place where you can see it objectively.  It will take the power out of it and put you in control.  Anything that stays in our head will take on a life of its own and gain momentum and become larger than life.  Being able to see it objectively will put you in a place of deciding what you will do about it. It will also put you in place of finding the positive in your life.  Being grateful for what you do have, instead of what you don’t.  Finding those positive things in life becomes easy.  It can be done daily and often.  Negative things will always happen to us, but, they will never again be the only thing in our lives.  We will even be able to see the positive in the negative.  And laugh!

The video below will help you relax and get rid of the negative, so you can begin to see the positive that is already there in you life.

Click here for the videos


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I became a therapist in an attempt to understand my own childhood and what happened there and how it made me who I am, exhibiting the behaviors that were not always positive, very often self-destructive. I used Art Therapy to help me understand things in my past that were stopping me from making better decisions in my present day. I used Behavioral Science to help me understand underlying causal factors, roots to the present day behaviors that I was seeing in myself. Both help me to change those behaviors/thoughts that were causing me to make self-destructive decisions that were causing pain in life. I have been a therapist since 1985 and have an undergraduate degree Art and behavioral science (double major) from the University of Maine. My graduate work was done at Marywood university and I have a degree in Art Therapy. I have certificates in Forensic Interviewing and Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavior therapy. I have 22 out of 30 credits toward a degree in Trauma Therapy from Drexel University. I started out as a Community Support Worker, Program Manager/Clinical Supervisor, Family therapist and Outpatient therapist.

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