Often times I have seen people hurt each other through withholding love in an attempt to get what they want. Some men will withhold their presence in their wives lives until they get what they want. They stay away at work or with their friends until their wives or girlfriends comply with what they want. Some women will withhold sex until they get what they want. This is not love. It is emotional blackmail and it has nothing to do with loving someone. I understand that you need to stay away until the anger subsides. But, then you talk about what happened, what angered you or hurt you. You don’t hold out until you get your way. I also understand that you do not want to make love to someone who you are angry with or hurt by. So you take care of your anger in a mature manner and then you talk about what hurt or angered you. You do not withhold anything from the person you love. If you are, it is not love. It is also not a healthy relationship. We learn how to have healthy relationships from our parents. If your parents did not have a healthy relationship then you have learned what you don’t want to do, if you want a relationship to last. Emotional blackmail will send the other person running as far from you as they can get and you will repeat the pattern for the next generation.
Changing this happens the same way we change any behavior we do not want. Making a conscious effort to catch ourselves doing it and stopping it. You then replace it with a behavior that is healthier and will help your relationship, not hurt it. Again it will take 3 weeks of practicing this and 3 more weeks to make it a habit. These video’s will help you to relax and gt rid of whatever behaviors you no longer want or are no longer working for you. Link to the video’s Enjoy!