Hanging on to memories

Remembering events in our lives is sometimes a good thing.  During the upcoming Holiday’s there may be times, with family, that “old times” are discussed.  For most of us,  these are good memories and they make us laugh and bring us closer to our families.  I have discussed in the past that using humor helps me to deal with a lot of things.  Being able to find humor, even in the bad things that have happened to us, is a healthy way of dealing with it and shows that we have healed.  That does not mean that you are making jokes about serious things at a time when someone is hurting.

If you are holding on to a memory that causes you emotional pain, let it go.  This is usually a process and does not happen overnight.  Letting go is about finding out why you are holding on to the memory.  That will mean you have to sit with the memory.  What I mean by that is, you will have to take time to be alone, quiet and allow yourself to remember whatever it is.  You will then ask yourself what this memory holds for you, what does it do for you, what purpose does it serve that you need it.  Why does it keep coming up at different times?  The answers to those questions may vary but all of the memories we have, hold a purpose or we would not keep repeating them in our heads.  This should not take a lot of time out of our day.  Only 10 to 15 minutes a day.  Set a timer if you have to do so.  Don’t go over, stop when the timer goes off.  During the day if the same memory or even different ones come up, push then out and know that you will have to give them voice later.  Then do it with the same questions. You will begin to control them and deal with them on your terms instead of having them come up whenever they happen to appear in our thoughts.  Don’t forget to set a time limit and stick to it.  These video’s will help you to relax and let go of whatever you is stopping you from moving forward.  Link to the video’s.   Enjoy!


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I became a therapist in an attempt to understand my own childhood and what happened there and how it made me who I am, exhibiting the behaviors that were not always positive, very often self-destructive. I used Art Therapy to help me understand things in my past that were stopping me from making better decisions in my present day. I used Behavioral Science to help me understand underlying causal factors, roots to the present day behaviors that I was seeing in myself. Both help me to change those behaviors/thoughts that were causing me to make self-destructive decisions that were causing pain in life. I have been a therapist since 1985 and have an undergraduate degree Art and behavioral science (double major) from the University of Maine. My graduate work was done at Marywood university and I have a degree in Art Therapy. I have certificates in Forensic Interviewing and Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavior therapy. I have 22 out of 30 credits toward a degree in Trauma Therapy from Drexel University. I started out as a Community Support Worker, Program Manager/Clinical Supervisor, Family therapist and Outpatient therapist.

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