How do you view the problems in your life?

Each of us have different ways of dealing with the problems that come into our life.  Some of us develop anxiety over them making us immobile, some of us become angry and lash out, some want to run away and avoid them at all costs, some of us try to control the outcome and some of us confront them head.   Either way acceptance of the situation needs to be there at some level or the problem never gets resolved.  Along with the acceptance should also be a willingness to learn from this problem and gain insight into what we need to do differently so it doesn’t happen again.  Being anxious , angry, fearful about the future or even dealing with it head on does not help unless  understand why the problem happened.  It also doesn’t  help to do any of those things because it only makes it worse.  Anxiety, anger and running away only make things worse.  The problem only gets worse or it then becomes another problem because you put yourself in a position of immobility.  problems happen.  No one gets out of this world without them, dealing with them takes courage, strength and conviction.  It is not easy, nothing worthwhile ever is because that is just life.  Your attitude toward problems will either make or break you and that is totally up to you.  No one is going to force you to choose how to face the problems that come into your life but know that there will never not be problems.  Stressing about them, getting angry, or running  away is not going to help anything, including you.  Neither is making a rash decision about what is happening just to get it out-of-the-way.  Jumping in to resolve it may be acting too quickly because you don’t have all of the facts yet.  Sitting in the discomfort of the problem is not an easy thing to do but it may be necessary so you can get the full picture and be able to accept the situation and what it involves.  You will also get a good picture of what you need to change so the same thing will not happen again.  That is not possible unless you sit in the discomfort of the situation.  That cannot happen while you are anxious, angry, running away or jumping to conclusions just to get it over.  Taking a deep breath and allowing ourself to feel what there is to feel and see what there is to see objectively.  Find out what the problem is teaching you.  Life is about problems and what they can teach you.  If you are not learning from them they are bound to repeat themselves in some form or another.  The following link will help you to relax while you’re sitting in the problem so you can learn from it.

Here is the link  Enjoy!

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dtoomey2015

I became a therapist in an attempt to understand my own childhood and what happened there and how it made me who I am, exhibiting the behaviors that were not always positive, very often self-destructive. I used Art Therapy to help me understand things in my past that were stopping me from making better decisions in my present day. I used Behavioral Science to help me understand underlying causal factors, roots to the present day behaviors that I was seeing in myself. Both help me to change those behaviors/thoughts that were causing me to make self-destructive decisions that were causing pain in life. I have been a therapist since 1985 and have an undergraduate degree Art and behavioral science (double major) from the University of Maine. My graduate work was done at Marywood university and I have a degree in Art Therapy. I have certificates in Forensic Interviewing and Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavior therapy. I have 22 out of 30 credits toward a degree in Trauma Therapy from Drexel University. I started out as a Community Support Worker, Program Manager/Clinical Supervisor, Family therapist and Outpatient therapist.

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