Courage and convictions

Do you remember saying to yourself when you were a child “I’m never doing that to my kid when I grow up?”.   We all have.  It is something that happens when you believe you have been treated unfairly one or both of your  parents.  Usually when we grow up we realize why our parents did whatever it was that they did and are often times grateful that they did.  Sometimes though we are not and have held on to that anger and conviction that we were treated unfairly.  Holding on to the anger usually backfires on us because we find ourselves doing the exact same thing that caused  so much anger within us to our own children.  We have not learned from whatever happened or we would still not be holding on to the anger or the conviction that we were mistreated by horrible parents.  We would have taken responsibility for whatever it was that we did.  Parents usually don’t punish us unless we deserve it.  That doesn’t mean that there aren’t parents out there that do not deserve the children they have been given.  Thank God they are not the majority of parents.  What it does mean is that we have not been taught to learn from our mistakes and that we hold on to the feeling of embarrassment, anger or fear about the situation.  You can’t learn from them if you continue to do that.  That means you have to let it go so you can move on and not stay stuck in the past.  Life is too short.  Letting go requires us to look at the situation objectively, without emotion from the past.  You will have to be able to relax and let go of what is not yours anymore.  You will then be able to see the situation clearly and decide what if anything you still need to do with it.  Often times you will see that you are the only thing that is still hanging on to it.  Letting go takes courage .  The following link will help you to let it go so you and move on with your life.

Here is the link.   Enjoy!

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dtoomey2015

I became a therapist in an attempt to understand my own childhood and what happened there and how it made me who I am, exhibiting the behaviors that were not always positive, very often self-destructive. I used Art Therapy to help me understand things in my past that were stopping me from making better decisions in my present day. I used Behavioral Science to help me understand underlying causal factors, roots to the present day behaviors that I was seeing in myself. Both help me to change those behaviors/thoughts that were causing me to make self-destructive decisions that were causing pain in life. I have been a therapist since 1985 and have an undergraduate degree Art and behavioral science (double major) from the University of Maine. My graduate work was done at Marywood university and I have a degree in Art Therapy. I have certificates in Forensic Interviewing and Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavior therapy. I have 22 out of 30 credits toward a degree in Trauma Therapy from Drexel University. I started out as a Community Support Worker, Program Manager/Clinical Supervisor, Family therapist and Outpatient therapist.

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