I do not believe that there are good and bad, positive or negative emotions. They are just emotions designed to tell us something about what we are feeling or what just happened to us. It is what we do with them that make them good or bad, positive or negative. It is how long we hang on to them that will tell us if we are turning them into something other than what they were designed to help us understand. Feeling hurt, angry, sad or guilty should be telling us something about what just happened to us. Allowing us to take a look at what that was and how it has impacted our lives. It doesn’t make it bad or negative. Hanging on to the emotions for years makes it bad or negative. We will wind up in a downward spiral that will only end in more hurt and pain for us. Looking at emotions as negative or bad will only make us push those emotions away as quickly as possible, not doing the work we need to do to see what is behind what we are feeling. It will not allow us to resolve the feelings and therefore we are doomed to repeat that same patterns in our lives until we finally are able to resolve what is the root cause of the emotion. Feeling angry, hurt or sad means something just happened to us that caused that emotion. Shutting down the feeling because it is uncomfortable or we’ve been told we shouldn’t be angry, or stop feeling sad or stop crying will only allow us to stuff the feeling and repeat the pattern over and over again until it is resolved. Feeling guilty should be telling us we just hurt someone else and need to apologize. There are no emotions we should be feeling are inappropriate to feel. They are what they are, signs that we should be paying attention to find out what is underneath the feeling. We should not be ignoring it because someone has told us not to feel certain emotions. That is bad for our emotional health. It does not allow us to grow and learn from life’s ups and downs. Stop hurting yourself by ignoring what was put there to help us understand ourselves better. Slow down, take a deep breath and look at what your feeling, the stronger the emotion the more you should be looking at it. The solutions are usually simple and direct if you are allowing yourself to feel what you’re feeling. You can also understand what is yours and what was placed on you by others. The following link will help you relax and give away what is not yours to carry.
I became a therapist in an attempt to understand my own childhood and what happened there and how it made me who I am, exhibiting the behaviors that were not always positive, very often self-destructive. I used Art Therapy to help me understand things in my past that were stopping me from making better decisions in my present day. I used Behavioral Science to help me understand underlying causal factors, roots to the present day behaviors that I was seeing in myself. Both help me to change those behaviors/thoughts that were causing me to make self-destructive decisions that were causing pain in life. I have been a therapist since 1985 and have an undergraduate degree Art and behavioral science (double major) from the University of Maine. My graduate work was done at Marywood university and I have a degree in Art Therapy. I have certificates in Forensic Interviewing and Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavior therapy. I have 22 out of 30 credits toward a degree in Trauma Therapy from Drexel University. I started out as a Community Support Worker, Program Manager/Clinical Supervisor, Family therapist and Outpatient therapist. View all posts by dtoomey2015