The Outsiders

There once was a family who moved to a small town and bought a farm to homestead. The farm was inexpensive because the town was in a state that had more available land then they did people.  This small town was christian and attracted the couple because they thought they would be welcomed.  They were not the same christian religion that the town, but, were Christian nonetheless.  The couple did not see that it made a difference.  They moved on to the land and began growing and raising their own food.  They enrolled their daughter into the school and she began to not want to go to school.  The mother called to see if she could figure out what was going on, she began to volunteer at school.  The mother would read and organize reading awareness week. She would read to each class.  She did the school musicals at Christmas and school plays at other times.  She was also trying to see for herself what was going on with her daughter and why she did not want to go to school.  She did not favor her own child or her other children when it was time to register them for school either.  She continued to volunteer for things, when they needed her.  She was sometimes the only parent there volunteering.  She was also volunteering for Special Olympics.  One day her son came home bruised and hurting.  He told her that the boy next door hit him while they were on the bus.  When asked why that happened her son told her he wasn’t sure but he thought it might be because he was teasing him about liking the girl who lived down the road.  She went next door to talk with the father but, the father refused to talk to her.  The next day she called the school and reported what happened and was told that her son started it and would be punished, suspended from school.  She questioned why a 16-year-old boy is less responsible than her 7-year-old boy?  Why was her son the only one being punished? Why words were not allowed to be spoken, teasing or not, and fists were allowed?  When she got off the phone, visible upset, her daughter said because we are outsiders and do not go to their church. She thought, but, we have gone to their church when they were invited.  She had difficulty believing this because it sounded so ridiculous, but she kept it in mind.  According to her daughter this was only one of many times things like this happened  to her and her brother.  She asked her daughter why she had never mentioned it before and her daughter said that it was because things got worse when they said something.  She said that saying something only makes them angry and they will get meaner. She also said that when they would play at school and would win a race or a game, they would give the prize to someone else.  The mother was having a problem equating Christian with this kind of treatment.  She also knew that her daughter was becoming more and more angry and less and less wanting to go to school.  Her son refused to talk about it anymore.  He also stopped trying his best at anything at school.  It became so bad that they moved out of the community and to another school to protect their children from other children and the adults in the school that were supposed to protect them.

The mother found out from other parents in the new school that there were other children that did not go to their church that the same kind of things happened.  She found out that her daughter was not exaggerating, they were considered outsiders and that they would never be considered  a part of the community unless they joined their church.  The mother began to pray for these people who had hurt her children.  She did not want to bind them to her in anyway.  She wanted God to take care of them in His own way. She prayed for herself to forgive them.   She learned to relax, take deep breaths and give away what she had no control over.  The link below will help you to relax and give away what you have no control over also.

Here is the link   Enjoy!

Advertisements

Published by

dtoomey2015

I became a therapist in an attempt to understand my own childhood and what happened there and how it made me who I am, exhibiting the behaviors that were not always positive, very often self-destructive. I used Art Therapy to help me understand things in my past that were stopping me from making better decisions in my present day. I used Behavioral Science to help me understand underlying causal factors, roots to the present day behaviors that I was seeing in myself. Both help me to change those behaviors/thoughts that were causing me to make self-destructive decisions that were causing pain in life. I have been a therapist since 1985 and have an undergraduate degree Art and behavioral science (double major) from the University of Maine. My graduate work was done at Marywood university and I have a degree in Art Therapy. I have certificates in Forensic Interviewing and Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavior therapy. I have 22 out of 30 credits toward a degree in Trauma Therapy from Drexel University. I started out as a Community Support Worker, Program Manager/Clinical Supervisor, Family therapist and Outpatient therapist.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s