Sometimes when bad things happen to us we wonder what we did to cause this to happen. We tend to look at it like we did something wrong and this is the punishment for whatever it was that we did. Sometimes it is because we made a bad choice and this is the consequence for that choice. Sometimes it was someone elses choice and we got caught up in the consequence because we were standing too close to the person who made the choice like a spouse or a sibling or parent. No matter what the reason, it feels like we’re being punished and wonder why. Sometimes we think that just because we go to church on Sunday’s and don’t do anything bad deliberately to anyone, we’re good and nothing bad will happen to us. That has never been the case for this writer. God has taught me lessons throughout my life. Some of them have been easy to learn and some of them have been horrific. Each time I wonder if the cost was worth the lesson. I often times wonder where God is in the process. I wonder whether or not He is remembering that I’m here walking through this problem. I feel the burden is too much to carry by myself. I have never carried a burden alone unless I did not ask Him for help. He was waiting, I didn’t ask. God is not a magic trick. You don’t pray and expect your life to be perfectly smooth. It’s not like putting coins in a machine with the expectation that you will get no problems in return. Learning from the problems that are given is a growing experience, if you let them. If you don’t learn, if you only hold on to the emotion attached to the event or become angry, you bind it to yourself and the other people involved in it. You stay stuck in it. You suffer longer with it. Giving it away to a God who loves you will allow it to pass quicker and you will learn what you need to learn from it. The link below is a guided imagery and relaxation exercise that will help to let go of what you have no control over.
I became a therapist in an attempt to understand my own childhood and what happened there and how it made me who I am, exhibiting the behaviors that were not always positive, very often self-destructive. I used Art Therapy to help me understand things in my past that were stopping me from making better decisions in my present day. I used Behavioral Science to help me understand underlying causal factors, roots to the present day behaviors that I was seeing in myself. Both help me to change those behaviors/thoughts that were causing me to make self-destructive decisions that were causing pain in life. I have been a therapist since 1985 and have an undergraduate degree Art and behavioral science (double major) from the University of Maine. My graduate work was done at Marywood university and I have a degree in Art Therapy. I have certificates in Forensic Interviewing and Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavior therapy. I have 22 out of 30 credits toward a degree in Trauma Therapy from Drexel University. I started out as a Community Support Worker, Program Manager/Clinical Supervisor, Family therapist and Outpatient therapist. View all posts by dtoomey2015