If you are still dealing with things that happened a long time ago, you are holding on to the problem. The people involved will probably not even remember the event that caused the problem, only you are holding on to the hurt, pain and trauma that you felt at the time. If you have children and they have experienced events that hurt them and you are still bringing it up and thinking about it, you are holding on to it. You are binding it to you and to your children. You cannot grow and move on from the experience unless you let go of the experience and the pain that it has caused. Letting go is not easy, but, it is possible. It is hard work. It is not a magic trick that happens just by watching it happen or by wishing it was so. You have to be willing to let it go and stop allowing it to control your life and emotions. You can’t hold on to the past and move into your future. Both will not live on the same plane. You will stay stuck with the event that caused you pain, making the same mistakes that caused the event to happen. If you let it go, you will learn from it and be able to move on with your life. There is usually nothing you can do with something that happened to you in the past. If there is, then do it and let go of what you have no control over. Give it away to God, the universe or put it in a box and store it on your shelf never opening it again. But, let it go so you can move into your future. The link below will help you give away what you have no control over using guided imagery. The sooner you give it away, the sooner you will be able to move into your future and not be plagued by memories from the past.
I became a therapist in an attempt to understand my own childhood and what happened there and how it made me who I am, exhibiting the behaviors that were not always positive, very often self-destructive. I used Art Therapy to help me understand things in my past that were stopping me from making better decisions in my present day. I used Behavioral Science to help me understand underlying causal factors, roots to the present day behaviors that I was seeing in myself. Both help me to change those behaviors/thoughts that were causing me to make self-destructive decisions that were causing pain in life. I have been a therapist since 1985 and have an undergraduate degree Art and behavioral science (double major) from the University of Maine. My graduate work was done at Marywood university and I have a degree in Art Therapy. I have certificates in Forensic Interviewing and Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavior therapy. I have 22 out of 30 credits toward a degree in Trauma Therapy from Drexel University. I started out as a Community Support Worker, Program Manager/Clinical Supervisor, Family therapist and Outpatient therapist. View all posts by dtoomey2015