Have you every talked with someone or interacted with someone and walked away from the encounter feeling emotionally, mentally and physically drained? Chances are you have just encountered a person with borderline personality disorder. If you are related to this person it is difficult to not be around them and have your strength and energy zapped on a regular basis. Dealing with them in small doses helps. Removing yourself emotionally also helps. Not allowing yourself to get caught up in their daily drama, emotionally helps. Drama comes with the disorder and it often times involves those people in their lives that allow themselves to be caught up in it. Removing yourself from the drama is not necessarily about removing yourself from the person, it is more about removing yourself emotionally from the drama in their lives. It is about putting whatever the problem is today on them, not allow them to give it to you or involve you in it. It is giving it back to them each time they try to give it to you. Making them responsible for their own problems and empowering them to solve their own issues. They are also manipulative and often times will get you involved before you realize that you are. Being honest about not wanting to or being willing to get involved with whatever the issues is today is the best way to handle a borderline personality disorder. They will, however use your honesty against you by trying to manipulate you with it. Making them mindful of their present moment feelings and aware of what they can do about the problem now will also help. Being mindful of the moment they are in will being them to what can or cannot be done about their problems. You will need to, daily, give away what is not yours to carry. Helping someone does not involve doing it for them, it involves making suggestions on how they can handle it for themselves. The following link will help you give away what is not yours to carry.
I became a therapist in an attempt to understand my own childhood and what happened there and how it made me who I am, exhibiting the behaviors that were not always positive, very often self-destructive. I used Art Therapy to help me understand things in my past that were stopping me from making better decisions in my present day. I used Behavioral Science to help me understand underlying causal factors, roots to the present day behaviors that I was seeing in myself. Both help me to change those behaviors/thoughts that were causing me to make self-destructive decisions that were causing pain in life. I have been a therapist since 1985 and have an undergraduate degree Art and behavioral science (double major) from the University of Maine. My graduate work was done at Marywood university and I have a degree in Art Therapy. I have certificates in Forensic Interviewing and Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavior therapy. I have 22 out of 30 credits toward a degree in Trauma Therapy from Drexel University. I started out as a Community Support Worker, Program Manager/Clinical Supervisor, Family therapist and Outpatient therapist. View all posts by dtoomey2015