When you are kind, it takes no more effort then it takes to be mean. Some people will mis-perceive your kindness for weakness and try to take advantage of you and your kindness. That is their problem and does not ever have to become your problem. It should also not stop you from being kind to others, including those who would try to manipulate that kindness. Most people appreciate your kindness and will pay it forward, being kind to the next person that they meet. Being kind without expectation of getting anything in return is the best sort of kindness. If you only give with the expectation of getting something back, you will be sorely disappointed. Do not give anything if that is the only reason you are giving. Give everything, including kindness, only because you want to give it. Otherwise it is a selfish act and not kindness. What you put out there will return to you eventually. You have to be patient though. If more people were kind to each other for no particular reason and without looking for something in return, the world would be a better place to live. It is unfortunate that it is not. Being kind and then experiencing someone trying to take advantage of that kindness is disheartening and attempts to make you rethink being kind. Rethinking it is not a bad idea. Make sure you are not being co-dependent, but don’t stop being kind. Do not take on what is not yours to take on. Other people trying to take advantage of your kindness is not your problem, it is that persons. Do not take it on, give it away. The following link will help you do that.
I became a therapist in an attempt to understand my own childhood and what happened there and how it made me who I am, exhibiting the behaviors that were not always positive, very often self-destructive. I used Art Therapy to help me understand things in my past that were stopping me from making better decisions in my present day. I used Behavioral Science to help me understand underlying causal factors, roots to the present day behaviors that I was seeing in myself. Both help me to change those behaviors/thoughts that were causing me to make self-destructive decisions that were causing pain in life. I have been a therapist since 1985 and have an undergraduate degree Art and behavioral science (double major) from the University of Maine. My graduate work was done at Marywood university and I have a degree in Art Therapy. I have certificates in Forensic Interviewing and Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavior therapy. I have 22 out of 30 credits toward a degree in Trauma Therapy from Drexel University. I started out as a Community Support Worker, Program Manager/Clinical Supervisor, Family therapist and Outpatient therapist. View all posts by dtoomey2015