Trusting your gut sounds pretty simple doesn’t it? Just follow what you feel is the right thing for you, what your mind and feelings are telling you to do. It is not that simple if you grew up in dysfunction because every time you trusted your gut, someone said you were wrong or manipulated the situation to favor them and not you, making you doubt your gut. If you were the scapegoat in that family, you also took the blame for what went wrong reinforcing the fact that you cannot trust your gut. As you grow up, hopefully, you realize that something was wrong with your childhood experiences and you begin to find out how your family manipulated the situations in your life and you can begin to heal. You will realize that what went wrong was not your fault, but whomever was manipulating the situation to suit them. They didn’t necessarily want you to fail, they just wanted things to work in their favor. If you only look at what went wrong and how your life had been altered because of them, you will stay stuck there, in the past, wondering what went wrong. There is nothing you can do about it now. Too late. You can change the present by getting your head out of the past. You again will have to let go of the past and what happened or did not happen there. Moving forward with a fulfilling life means that you will have to let go of what was and embrace what is now. You will not be able to live in both places. One has to go. Living in the present is a much better place to be. Letting go of the past also means letting go of the anger, resentment, guilt and what ever other emotions come up when you think of your childhood and the situations that happened there. The following link will help you to let go of what you no longer have any control over.
I became a therapist in an attempt to understand my own childhood and what happened there and how it made me who I am, exhibiting the behaviors that were not always positive, very often self-destructive. I used Art Therapy to help me understand things in my past that were stopping me from making better decisions in my present day. I used Behavioral Science to help me understand underlying causal factors, roots to the present day behaviors that I was seeing in myself. Both help me to change those behaviors/thoughts that were causing me to make self-destructive decisions that were causing pain in life. I have been a therapist since 1985 and have an undergraduate degree Art and behavioral science (double major) from the University of Maine. My graduate work was done at Marywood university and I have a degree in Art Therapy. I have certificates in Forensic Interviewing and Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavior therapy. I have 22 out of 30 credits toward a degree in Trauma Therapy from Drexel University. I started out as a Community Support Worker, Program Manager/Clinical Supervisor, Family therapist and Outpatient therapist. View all posts by dtoomey2015