Changing an unwanted behavior, like most worthwhile things in life, takes time. It is not magical and does not happen overnight. It is a concerted effort on your part to make it happen. Your first step is accepting the fact that you need to make the change. That requires an admission that you honestly think what you’ve been doing to date is not healthy. You often times think that but never put those thoughts into action, remaining stuck with the old behavior. If it is truly bothering you or getting you into trouble with your present day relationships, then it is time to make the change before you lose the relationship or job. The next step would be making an effort to catch yourself doing the old behavior and changing it to something else. This will take time as well because you will not always recognize that you’re doing it. Once you begin to recognize that your unwanted behavior you will begin to recognize that you are doing it more often and be able to replace it with a more productive behavior. You will then have to catch yourself and replace the behavior for a consistent 3 weeks. Another 3 weeks of practicing the new behavior to make it a habit is also necessary. If you do not practice the new behavior, you will fall back of the old behavior during times of stress. Giving away those things that you no longer want to or find necessary to control is also within those steps to changing unwanted behavior. The following link will help you to give away the unwanted so you can replace it with the new.
I became a therapist in an attempt to understand my own childhood and what happened there and how it made me who I am, exhibiting the behaviors that were not always positive, very often self-destructive. I used Art Therapy to help me understand things in my past that were stopping me from making better decisions in my present day. I used Behavioral Science to help me understand underlying causal factors, roots to the present day behaviors that I was seeing in myself. Both help me to change those behaviors/thoughts that were causing me to make self-destructive decisions that were causing pain in life. I have been a therapist since 1985 and have an undergraduate degree Art and behavioral science (double major) from the University of Maine. My graduate work was done at Marywood university and I have a degree in Art Therapy. I have certificates in Forensic Interviewing and Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavior therapy. I have 22 out of 30 credits toward a degree in Trauma Therapy from Drexel University. I started out as a Community Support Worker, Program Manager/Clinical Supervisor, Family therapist and Outpatient therapist. View all posts by dtoomey2015