Have you ever heard of the phrase “Trying to put a square peg into around circle”? We say that when something or someone is not fitting what we think is appropriate. We place the blame on the thing or the person before we can move on from the situation, instead of just moving on and finding something or someone that does fit. We often times make the person feel like there is something wrong with them because they are not fitting our expectations of how things should be. They are our expectations, our plans, our thoughts our requirements. It is our responsibility to find a fit for them, not someone else’s to fill our need. It is our responsibility to look for what we want and find the fit that works for us without hurting others in the process. Just because it is not a fit does not make it or them wrong. What it should mean is that you are not finished looking for the right fit for you. Making them feel bad about not being the right fit will always say more about you then it will ever say about them. Getting rid of those judgments in your head will require looking at why you make them to begin with and then letting them go. The following link will help you to do just that.
I became a therapist in an attempt to understand my own childhood and what happened there and how it made me who I am, exhibiting the behaviors that were not always positive, very often self-destructive. I used Art Therapy to help me understand things in my past that were stopping me from making better decisions in my present day. I used Behavioral Science to help me understand underlying causal factors, roots to the present day behaviors that I was seeing in myself. Both help me to change those behaviors/thoughts that were causing me to make self-destructive decisions that were causing pain in life. I have been a therapist since 1985 and have an undergraduate degree Art and behavioral science (double major) from the University of Maine. My graduate work was done at Marywood university and I have a degree in Art Therapy. I have certificates in Forensic Interviewing and Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavior therapy. I have 22 out of 30 credits toward a degree in Trauma Therapy from Drexel University. I started out as a Community Support Worker, Program Manager/Clinical Supervisor, Family therapist and Outpatient therapist. View all posts by dtoomey2015