I have often heard statements like “When is my life going to be easier?” or “Why doesn’t anyone else have problems like me?” or “Why is my life so difficult?” or “Why did this happen to me?”. Everyone has problems. Everyone has things in their lives that they are handling that sometimes become too difficult to handle. We don’t all have the same problems or the same kind of difficulty. But. We all have what we can handle. Not acknowledging the fact that we can handle what has been given to us, diminishes us. It is telling ourselves that there are things that can and will defeat us. We have stopped believing in ourselves before we even start. There is no such thing as a problem free life. We each have different problems, but, we all have problems. Most of us will never know what the other person is going through because they will never talk about what that might be for them. Most of us bear whatever burden we’re carrying alone. Focusing on the other person takes us away from resolving our own difficulties and allows us to continue with the idea that their life is better and so we are not looking at solutions for ourselves. Doing that prolongs the resolution and may even makes the situation worse than it is because we are not trying to find solutions to something that will become worse then it originally was due to our neglect. valuing ourselves and our solutions, not comparing ourselves to others, not expecting a problem free life will help us to focus on the problem at hand. It will allow us to focus on the solutions to that problem without the comparison to others problems. What other people do or do not do is none of our business. Our only business is ourselves and what concerns us. Letting go of those things that are not our business will help us to only focus on our own problems and resolve them quicker. The following link will help ou to let go of what you have no control over and focus on those things that you do.
I became a therapist in an attempt to understand my own childhood and what happened there and how it made me who I am, exhibiting the behaviors that were not always positive, very often self-destructive. I used Art Therapy to help me understand things in my past that were stopping me from making better decisions in my present day. I used Behavioral Science to help me understand underlying causal factors, roots to the present day behaviors that I was seeing in myself. Both help me to change those behaviors/thoughts that were causing me to make self-destructive decisions that were causing pain in life. I have been a therapist since 1985 and have an undergraduate degree Art and behavioral science (double major) from the University of Maine. My graduate work was done at Marywood university and I have a degree in Art Therapy. I have certificates in Forensic Interviewing and Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavior therapy. I have 22 out of 30 credits toward a degree in Trauma Therapy from Drexel University. I started out as a Community Support Worker, Program Manager/Clinical Supervisor, Family therapist and Outpatient therapist. View all posts by dtoomey2015