I have worked with young girls who have been on the other side of mean girls. These girls will come into therapy thinking there is something wrong with them. Thinking that there must be because the popular girls don’t like them. It does not occur to them that there is nothing wrong with them, it is the mean girls that have the problem. Mean girls are bullies, just like their male counter parts. Resorting to being mean to resolve problems or to show people that you are superior, by itself shows people that you are not. If the only way you can feel better about yourself or to win and argument is to be mean or to bully someone, you have already proven that you are weaker, emotionally, then most of us. It also shows that you have not been parented very well. That at least one of your parents will be exhibiting the bullying factor to you or in front of you to others. This emotional weakness can be overcome with some work. The bully or the mean girl will have to build their self-esteem and confidence in their own abilities to communicate. They will have to recognize that people will listen to them without having to resort to being mean. They will have to let go of some bad habits and build new ones. It will take 3 weeks to change a habit that is no longer useful to us and 3 more weeks to make that new behavior a habit that replaces the old one. You will also have to let go of the old habit and attitude. The following link will help you to do that.
I became a therapist in an attempt to understand my own childhood and what happened there and how it made me who I am, exhibiting the behaviors that were not always positive, very often self-destructive. I used Art Therapy to help me understand things in my past that were stopping me from making better decisions in my present day. I used Behavioral Science to help me understand underlying causal factors, roots to the present day behaviors that I was seeing in myself. Both help me to change those behaviors/thoughts that were causing me to make self-destructive decisions that were causing pain in life. I have been a therapist since 1985 and have an undergraduate degree Art and behavioral science (double major) from the University of Maine. My graduate work was done at Marywood university and I have a degree in Art Therapy. I have certificates in Forensic Interviewing and Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavior therapy. I have 22 out of 30 credits toward a degree in Trauma Therapy from Drexel University. I started out as a Community Support Worker, Program Manager/Clinical Supervisor, Family therapist and Outpatient therapist. View all posts by dtoomey2015