Gossip can damage relationships. It can be hurtful to the people who you are talking about. It will also tell the people that you are gossiping with that you are the kind of person who will engage in talking behind others backs. Including theirs. It breaks people’s trust in you. It you are not courageous enough to tell the person to their face, then you should not be saying it behind their backs. The courage to say what you mean and mean what you say is another self-confidence thing. You should be able to talk about what you feel is important without having to feel you will not be heard or others will not listen. The idea of those things is not important. The important thing is that you have expressed your thoughts and feelings. You have gotten it off your chest. What other people do with it is their problem, their issue. Not every one is going to agree with you all of the time. That’s okay. They don’t need to agree. You need to feel confident with what you just said and believe in it yourself without anyone else, standing alone in that belief. If you have confidence in your beliefs then you will be willing and able to stand alone without dragging others into to what you believe, without having to have others agree with you. You also have to be willing to hear someone who might not agree and be willing to change that belief based upon the new information you just received. None of us is right all of the time. None of us has all of the answers. Together we can help each other to find them. Gossiping about the people in your life, diminishes you. It says more about you then it does about them. It tells people that you are not mature enough, courageous enough or confident enough in yourself to say what you are thinking in front of the person you are talking about. Changing bad habits takes 3 weeks of thinking about what you want to change and then actively working on changing that behavior. It takes another 3 weeks to make that new behavior a habit. You will also have to build your self-confidence and let go of old behaviors. The following link will help you to do just that.
I became a therapist in an attempt to understand my own childhood and what happened there and how it made me who I am, exhibiting the behaviors that were not always positive, very often self-destructive. I used Art Therapy to help me understand things in my past that were stopping me from making better decisions in my present day. I used Behavioral Science to help me understand underlying causal factors, roots to the present day behaviors that I was seeing in myself. Both help me to change those behaviors/thoughts that were causing me to make self-destructive decisions that were causing pain in life. I have been a therapist since 1985 and have an undergraduate degree Art and behavioral science (double major) from the University of Maine. My graduate work was done at Marywood university and I have a degree in Art Therapy. I have certificates in Forensic Interviewing and Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavior therapy. I have 22 out of 30 credits toward a degree in Trauma Therapy from Drexel University. I started out as a Community Support Worker, Program Manager/Clinical Supervisor, Family therapist and Outpatient therapist. View all posts by dtoomey2015