But, it’s not fair!

Someone usually says this when something has happened to them that they think is unjust.  They may or may not be correct.  A lot of things in this world are unjust, unfair.  The expectation that life is going to go your way all of the time is unrealistic.  You may have worked really hard for something and someone else takes the credit or steals the award.  I have watched that happen to children.  I remember a child who ran really hard in a special olympics race and won.  I also watched the mayor’s child take the award and the lesson, unfortunately taught to the child that legitimately won, was that it doesn’t matter how hard you try, you won’t win.  Was that fair?  Of course not.  Was the lesson learned what should have been learned?  Of course not!  That is life, however.  We do the best we can with what we have been given and move on in a positive fashion.  If we don’t we fail ourselves.  Life is not fair and whomever told you it was, lied to you.  Life is a series of events that happen to you.  Some of them are good and some of them are bad.  What you do with each of them, what attitude you bring to them will determine whether you can move on from them of not.  Staying in the negative will only being more negative and defeat you at every turn.  Staying positive will help you to understand what happened to you and teach you the lessons you need to learn to become a better you.  People who take credit for what they have not done or take the award they have not earned will be rewarded for the deception.  You may or may not be able to witness this defeat.  The phrase what goes around comes around is true, I have witnessed it.  Karma is not kind, unless you have been kind.  If you are one of those people who take from others or are unkind, you can change your behavior.  Change requires replacing the behavior yu want to change with something new.  It takes 3 weeks of constantly. consciously doing the new behavior and replacing it with the old behavior.  It takes another 3 weeks of  practicing that new behavior to make it a habit.  You will also have to give away the old behaviors that you want to replace.  The following link will help you to do just that.

Here is the link. Enjoy!

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dtoomey2015

I became a therapist in an attempt to understand my own childhood and what happened there and how it made me who I am, exhibiting the behaviors that were not always positive, very often self-destructive. I used Art Therapy to help me understand things in my past that were stopping me from making better decisions in my present day. I used Behavioral Science to help me understand underlying causal factors, roots to the present day behaviors that I was seeing in myself. Both help me to change those behaviors/thoughts that were causing me to make self-destructive decisions that were causing pain in life. I have been a therapist since 1985 and have an undergraduate degree Art and behavioral science (double major) from the University of Maine. My graduate work was done at Marywood university and I have a degree in Art Therapy. I have certificates in Forensic Interviewing and Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavior therapy. I have 22 out of 30 credits toward a degree in Trauma Therapy from Drexel University. I started out as a Community Support Worker, Program Manager/Clinical Supervisor, Family therapist and Outpatient therapist.

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