Fear is not a bad thing. It tells us that there is something that can potentially hurt us. It tells us to be careful about what we are about to do. It tells us to look carefully, research what we are about to engage in, before we do. It is not meant to stop us unless there is a reason for us to do that. Most of us have a fear of the unknown, a fear of what we have never experienced. That is a healthy fear. It should not stop us however, from trying new things. It should not be so overwhelming that we cannot move. That we stop living our lives or trying new things because of the fear. If you believe in God, you know that fear that stops us is not from Him. Fear by itself is an emotion, like all of the other emotions it tells us that something is happening in our environment. Something that we should be paying attention to and look at closely. It can be something enjoyable or something that will hurt us if we continue. No emotion is meant to stop us, only to make us pay attention to what is happening to us and then to act accordingly depending upon what we have seen. When fear stops us it usually has something to do with what we were taught as children about taking risks. How our parents handled their risks or how they didn’t. It can also have something to do with how we were taught to make decisions and how supported we were while making those decisions, what to do when our choices did not work out well. If we were not taught how to handle those defeats, we will become fearful of our own choices. Mistakes are pretty common for all of us humans. Learning to roll with the punches should be a part of growing up and learning from the mistakes we make. Not being defeated by them. learning how to make decisions, building confidence in those decisions and allowing yourself to make mistakes without ridicule or being made to feel bad about yourself will help. Giving away those things and emotions that are self-defeating will also help. Changing behavior takes 3 weeks of constantly catching yourself doing the behavior that you want to change and replacing it with the new behavior. It takes another 3 weeks of practicing that new behavior to make that behavior a habit. Letting go of old behaviors is not easy especially when you have been doing them for a long time. The following link will help to let go of what is no longer working for you.
I became a therapist in an attempt to understand my own childhood and what happened there and how it made me who I am, exhibiting the behaviors that were not always positive, very often self-destructive. I used Art Therapy to help me understand things in my past that were stopping me from making better decisions in my present day. I used Behavioral Science to help me understand underlying causal factors, roots to the present day behaviors that I was seeing in myself. Both help me to change those behaviors/thoughts that were causing me to make self-destructive decisions that were causing pain in life. I have been a therapist since 1985 and have an undergraduate degree Art and behavioral science (double major) from the University of Maine. My graduate work was done at Marywood university and I have a degree in Art Therapy. I have certificates in Forensic Interviewing and Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavior therapy. I have 22 out of 30 credits toward a degree in Trauma Therapy from Drexel University. I started out as a Community Support Worker, Program Manager/Clinical Supervisor, Family therapist and Outpatient therapist. View all posts by dtoomey2015