Giving to others seems like an easy thing to be able to do. It is not for everyone. Some of us believe that if we give to someone we should be getting something back. That is not always the case, nor should it be expected. If you are giving to someone it should be because you want to give whatever it is to them, not because you expect something in return. Giving for that reason in selfish. Giving because you want to give whatever it is with no expectation of getting anything back is the only kind of giving that actually is giving. If you are resenting the fact that you gave something to someone and they didn’t give anything in return you need to stop giving things away. The only reason for giving is because you want to give. If you don’t, then keep whatever it is and you won’t have to resent the fact that you thought you were generous to someone and they weren’t. You weren’t being generous anyway. You were being selfish and the resentment proves the point. People who give for the sake of giving do get something in return, but, not from the person to whom they gave something. They get a feeling of satisfaction, happiness and joy from the giving itself. True givers, give anonymously, the person they give to never knows it was them. The feeling they get from the fact that they helped someone is enough . Getting something in return never occurs to them. Letting go of the need to be acknowledged or recognized for what we have done is the first step to being able to quietly give and be generous to others without expectation. Opening our hearts to the joy that is received from giving is the next step. Getting rid of all of those things that have stopped us from being generous without expectation is also important. The following link will help you to do just that.
I became a therapist in an attempt to understand my own childhood and what happened there and how it made me who I am, exhibiting the behaviors that were not always positive, very often self-destructive. I used Art Therapy to help me understand things in my past that were stopping me from making better decisions in my present day. I used Behavioral Science to help me understand underlying causal factors, roots to the present day behaviors that I was seeing in myself. Both help me to change those behaviors/thoughts that were causing me to make self-destructive decisions that were causing pain in life. I have been a therapist since 1985 and have an undergraduate degree Art and behavioral science (double major) from the University of Maine. My graduate work was done at Marywood university and I have a degree in Art Therapy. I have certificates in Forensic Interviewing and Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavior therapy. I have 22 out of 30 credits toward a degree in Trauma Therapy from Drexel University. I started out as a Community Support Worker, Program Manager/Clinical Supervisor, Family therapist and Outpatient therapist. View all posts by dtoomey2015