Finding middle ground

If you care about and love the people in your life, you are always searching for middle ground.  Commonalities that you can meet on and agree.  Things that you both can live with and be happy while you’re doing it.  This requires a level of maturity and unselfishness that not all of us have.  It requires being able to understnad where the other person is coming from and how they got there.  It requires getting out of your own head and empathizing with the other person.  It requires letting go of your own needs and wants for a little while and trying to understand what the other person might need and want.  If you are both doing this at the same time the outcome is wonderful.  If only one of you are doing this, not so much.  The person who is able to empathize with the other will usually give more then what they wanted because the other is not giving much at all.  This will eventually result in the person giving more then they should be giving, wanting out of the relationship.  This happens because you cannot continue giving up parts of yourself without loosing yourself in the process.  When it catches up with you, you will choose to end the relationship and find yourself again.  Being able to compromise and find middle ground is not difficult unless you are selfish.  Then it will seem like it is impossible.  It’s not.  You will have to let go of your selfishness and your inability to empathize with others and actually care about the outcome.  Letting go of what is no longer working for you is sometimes hard to do if you’ve been doing it for a long time, especially if you’ve been selfish and immature.  If you truly want this relationship you will work for it and let go of what is getting in the middle of it.  You will let go of the selfishness and try to understand where the other person is coming from and how they got there.  You will find middle ground that both of you can live with and be happy.  The following link will help you let go of those things that are no longer working for you and are getting in your way.

Here is the link. Enjoy!

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dtoomey2015

I became a therapist in an attempt to understand my own childhood and what happened there and how it made me who I am, exhibiting the behaviors that were not always positive, very often self-destructive. I used Art Therapy to help me understand things in my past that were stopping me from making better decisions in my present day. I used Behavioral Science to help me understand underlying causal factors, roots to the present day behaviors that I was seeing in myself. Both help me to change those behaviors/thoughts that were causing me to make self-destructive decisions that were causing pain in life. I have been a therapist since 1985 and have an undergraduate degree Art and behavioral science (double major) from the University of Maine. My graduate work was done at Marywood university and I have a degree in Art Therapy. I have certificates in Forensic Interviewing and Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavior therapy. I have 22 out of 30 credits toward a degree in Trauma Therapy from Drexel University. I started out as a Community Support Worker, Program Manager/Clinical Supervisor, Family therapist and Outpatient therapist.

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