Being enough without changing anything about yourself should be something that we all think and feel. That is not always the case. Some of us feel that we have to change ourselves to suit others. We have to become someone else to fit in with them. We have to change something about ourselves in order to have someone as a friend. If you are in that situation you have lost yourself. If you are not enough all by yourself for whomever you’re trying to fit in with, you will never be enough. You will also lose yourself in the process of trying to be someone you’re not. True friends love us for who and what we are right now in the present. As we grow and change, they love the changes in us. They value us as people and human beings. They love us just the way we are without having to change anything. They support us and tell us things we need to hear without judgment, whether we want to hear them or not. They will always think that we are enough. They will encourage us to think that we are enough. They will value us for who and what we are without changing a thing. The only changes we will make is because we want to change, not because we feel we have to for someone else. Letting go of the need to fit in with someone or something else is a childhood thing and we should let go of it. It is a lack of confidence in ourselves and who and what we are, feeling not enough. Feeling we are not good enough the way we are and if people are going to like us, we need to be someone else. We are all unique, there is not another one of us anywhere. We need to be able to focus on our gifts and what we bring to the picture and value them before anyone else will value them and us. Knowing the gifts that we bring to others and valuing them enough to use them to help others is a confidence problem. Letting go of our lack of confidence and valuing ourselves and what we bring to the world can be difficult. Letting go of the doubts about ourselves and replacing them with the gifts that we bring to the world is a first step. The following link will help you to do that.
I became a therapist in an attempt to understand my own childhood and what happened there and how it made me who I am, exhibiting the behaviors that were not always positive, very often self-destructive. I used Art Therapy to help me understand things in my past that were stopping me from making better decisions in my present day. I used Behavioral Science to help me understand underlying causal factors, roots to the present day behaviors that I was seeing in myself. Both help me to change those behaviors/thoughts that were causing me to make self-destructive decisions that were causing pain in life. I have been a therapist since 1985 and have an undergraduate degree Art and behavioral science (double major) from the University of Maine. My graduate work was done at Marywood university and I have a degree in Art Therapy. I have certificates in Forensic Interviewing and Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavior therapy. I have 22 out of 30 credits toward a degree in Trauma Therapy from Drexel University. I started out as a Community Support Worker, Program Manager/Clinical Supervisor, Family therapist and Outpatient therapist. View all posts by dtoomey2015