Underneath all surface behavior is a root cause for that behavior. Examples would be the following: if what you are seeing is drinking, drugging, raging anger, constant drama, constant risk taking, suicidal behavior, cutting or too much emotion for the circumstances chances are you are dealing with a person who has been sexually abuse as a child. Another example would be if what you are seeing is an inability to talk, struggling to communicate, sensitivity of the senses, smell, touch, hearing, sight, an inability to get social cues, a lack of empathy , a lack of filter for what they say or do and how it affects others chances you are dealing with someone who has autism. The root cause is not an excuse for bad behavior. Finding the root cause then makes you responsible for those behaviors and changing them so that society as a whole does not have to deal with those behaviors. If you never find the root cause, you will never be able to change the surface behaviors for very long you will continue to repeat the same patterns of behavior. Changing anything take a recognition of the underlying causal factors and a determination to change. Change takes 3 weeks of constantly reminding yourself to not do the behavior you want to change and doing something new, more constructive. It then takes 3 more weeks of practicing that behavior to make it a habit. It also takes giving away those behaviors that we learned in childhood or family of origin because they are no longer working for us. The following link will help you to do just that.